Be More Burrito

WORK ON YA MENTAL HEALTH. Start yesterday, no, start in utero. Have a good birth. No stress. A secure attachment to a mother who did yoga through the third trimester. Have a happy childhood. No trauma. Not even a little bit. No divorces, no death, no dads with anger issues. Just Montessori. Surround yourself with loving, emotionally intelligent friends, family, and a partner who goes to therapy and does inner child work.

Find fulfilling work. But not too much. But also be ambitious. Earn lots. Don’t chase money. But do be financially secure. Have a side hustle. And a pension. And a passion project. Set manageable goals. Smash them. Be humble. Sleep 8 hours. But only after reading fiction. No blue light. No screens. Unless it’s a meditation app. Or the Calm sleep story narrated by Idris Elba.

Eat a balanced diet. Paleo-vegan-Mediterranean. No gluten, no sugar, no dairy, unless it’s raw. Ideally harvested by monks. Gym four times a week. Lift heavy. Do Hyrox. Then run a marathon for your inner child. Cold plunge. Sauna. Alternate until you question everything. Bonus if it’s in a Scandinavian hut. Slap yourself with nettles. On purpose. It’s ancient. It’s healing. It’s £95 on ClassPass.

Take magnesium, valerian root, ashwagandha, vitamin D, and three things you can’t pronounce but your podcast recommends. Track your glucose, your heart rate, your soul. Limit ya doom scrolls. But grow your brand. Be authentic. Curate vulnerability. Post your nervous system regulation routine in under 60 seconds.

Go to therapy. Not just talk therapy: IFS, EMDR, somatic, psychedelic-assisted, trauma-informed, attachment-focused. Weekly. Fortnightly. Daily. Start a Substack. Call it “Soft Power” or “The Inner Work Dispatch.” Charge £6 a month for reflections on shadow integration and oatie flatties. And if none of this helps: try tapping. Or a new notebook. Or Bali…

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